Spotting the signs

Spottings the signs that someone is experiencing abuse can sometimes be tricky at first but, once you learn to spot them it's something you will never unsee.

Research tells us that 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men will experience domestic abuse. That makes it incredibly likely several people close to you will be experiencing or have experienced it in their lifetime. This could be family, friends, work collegues, work customers or anyone you come into contact with on a regular basis. You are probably surrounded by victims daily.

Now you may think that someone close to you would tell you, but that's not the case. Often we are too scared and embarrased to say anything OR we simply just don't know ourselves and are unable to articulate it. Personally, I had absolutely no idea and had never even heard of domestic abuse before.

What are some of the signs?

Of course this list could be exhaustive but here are some of the more obvious ones you may see when someone enters a relationship with an abuser OR is experiencing it already.

• A change in their dress sense or appearance. This could include wearing clothes that don't match the weather, i.e covering up injuries

• Strange excuses for injuries

• Strange excuses for cancelling plans or not wanting to participate in things they normally would

• A change in social circle or spending less time with their friends/isolating themselves

• Spending all of their time with their partner

• Spending all of their time in their home

• Big changes in their occupation or education, perhaps they are not wanting to pursue previous goals OR they are working a lot to avoid being at home

• Financial difficulties which are unusual for them

• Their intimate relationship is moving quickly i.e moving in, talks of having children, getting married

• New or worsening alcohol or drug dependency

• Their partner may come to all social events with them or show up unexpectedly

• Being anxious and secretive with their phone

• Worries about their appearance

• Mental health decline, perhaps they are anxious, showing signs of low mood and 'jumpiness'

• Behaviour changes around their partner/family member, perhaps they become quieter OR seem over the top happy

If you are recognising some of these signs and have concerns for your loved one please tread carefully. See my other sections for providing support and keeping yourself safe.