How you can offer support

Supporting someone experiencing Domestic Abuse can be difficult and traumatising for everyone involved.

Sadly, there is no magic formula to help someone see what is happening. Until a victim is ready to make the decision themselves they won't leave. It doesn't matter what you do or how educated you are. All you can do is create a supportive environment for when they are ready.

Here are my top tips!

• Don't show judgement - to the person or towards the abuser, this will increase isolation

• Remember to listen - you don't always have to offer advice, be there to hold the space and emotion

• Have an open door policy - ensure that person knows no matter what you will always be there for them even if they want to stay in the relationship/situation

• Avoid trying to offer solutions unless you are asked

• Dont engage in conflict with the abuser, this will make things worse

• If giving advice focus on the behaviour exhibited, not the abuser as a person

• Speak about healthy relationships and looking after our own needs

• Don't criticise the victim for staying or not recognising unhealthy behaviour/patterns

I KNOW how difficult this is and I know it goes against your gut instinct when all you want to do is give them a good shake! Of course you want to go in with "this person is a d*ck" but honestly, it won't help.

If your loved one is expressing wanting to leave and is able to recognise the abuse then you can subtly offer advice. You could recommend support websites or organisations. Ask them if there are any barries to leaving and offer to talk this through to find solutions. Talk to them about Clare's Law (you can apply for this for them but it doesn't always end well if they aren't ready to talk about the abuse).

The 'drip feed' approach is necessary here, give information or advice in slow doses. Don't overload them. Encourage them to focus on what THEY want/need.

Also, remember to look after you. See our other sections on supporting you.